Why Your Child Isn't Maturing: Helicopter Parents vs. Lawnmower Parents
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Loading... - Bojing Liu
- 24 Jun 2022
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Every parent knows two things in particular – the first being that parenting is hard, and the second being that there is no standard instruction manual for parenting. Parents are just ordinary people, but in the eyes of their children, parents are looked up to as role models and heroes. It is because of this that those parents feel the need to provide the best for their children.
With parents having been in the world much longer than his or her child, the parents definitely know much more than their child about the hardships, tragedies, and unfairness present in the world outside their house and lot. As a result, many parents strongly feel that they should protect their own children at all costs – but is there an extent to which such protection does more harm than good. This kind of parenting branches out into two kinds of parenting styles: helicopter parenting and lawnmower parenting.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting is best described by the idea of parents “hovering over their children like a helicopter.” Supposedly coined in the 1969 book Parents & Teenagers by Dr. Haim Ginott, helicopter parents are “overly engaged with and focused on” their children, to the extent that every move of the child is monitored and directed under the supervision of the helicopter parent. With the intentions of ideally helping their child succeed and to prevent failure, disappointment, and conflict, helicopter parents go out of their way in most, if not all cases, to assist their children.
Helicopter parents “hover over their children” so that the best outcome is always achieved for their kids. Examples of helicopter parenting are when helicopter parents always monitor their child’s grades wherein the child gets various kinds of special assistance; ensuring that the child always gets good grades by always providing too much help with homework, ensuring that the child gets a specific teacher, and the like. Helicopter parents even do the child’s tasks within their house and lot that the child can do by themselves, such as washing dishes. There are also cases wherein the helicopter parents monitor who becomes their child’s friends and what activities or events the child engages in. The helicopter parent bombards the child with assistance so much to the point wherein the child has no more alone time. Children benefit from having involved parents, however, too much involvement doesn't lead to good things or even possibly, good behavior.
Lawnmower Parenting
Lawnmower parenting may seem similar to helicopter parenting in the sense that the parents are “overly involved” in their child’s life. However, what makes lawnmower parenting distinct is that lawnmower parents do not just provide excessive amounts of assistance to their children. Instead, lawnmower parents “mow down” any and every conflict that the child could ever encounter, whether it is inside or outside their house and lot.
Examples of this parenting style are typically much more severe than helicopter parents. One example is when a lawn mower parent calls a teacher or professor to ask for an extension on a project deadline on behalf of their own child. Another example is arguing for their child’s sake against teachers and school faculty, whether it’s about grades or conduct, no matter what facts are present. It can even reach the extent wherein it’s the lawnmower parents themselves who are calling employers for their child’s job applications. The lawnmower parent completely takes away the child’s capability to actually face any challenge. Read More…
