Six things that are wasted on young people, and it's not just because you're bitter and middle-aged
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Loading... - Oscar Fiske
- 30 Mar 2023
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YOUNG people have the best of everything life has to offer and are too entitled to appreciate it, explains 49-year-old Joanna Kramer:
Good health
The vigour of youth shrugs off the abuses of adolescents staying up all night on Red Bull and Skittles Crazy Sours, but they don’t even do it. They’re all in gyms and drinking decaf with soy milk. They should give their robust constitutions to those who need them, like parents putting away a bottle of wine and a rogan josh for one every night.
Joie de vivre
They’ve got all this energy and they spend it slumped around playing video games until they’re too hairy to move. That zest and zing should be given to older people, who’ve got jobs and hoovering to do. If Gen X had endless enthusiasm and verve the world be a less noisy and more efficiently categorised place, and wouldn’t that be a joy?
Teeth
The next step in human evolution should be to make your first set of teeth last until 30, so once the young have bleached theirs to the point of degradation they’ve got a new set coming through. Which would be appreciated and cared for by wiser minds who would only chew gum all night on MDMA occasionally. Read More…
