Expectation vs reality: 4 tips for a strong, real dating relationship
We probably all grew up with an expectation of what the perfect relationship would look like. Romantic movies, adverts on television, books and our own imaginations help to create the idea of the ideal partner and the model relationship. Couples that look like they have it so ‘together’. This can be heightened when single. It is hard when you first start dating someone and reality kicks in! You are excited, the butterflies start fluttering, you start thinking about the future and can be desperate to impress. But not every moment will be wonderful and we need to think about expectation vs reality. Even in small ways, expectations are not met, and hard conversations can be needed to make a successful, happy relationship. How can you balance your expectations and not let yourself be disappointed by reality?
Expectation vs reality can be a real relationship challenge. We can put the idea of a perfect relationship upon a pedestal, but the reality is that no relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its flaws as we are all fallen people.
Here are four potential pitfalls and what you could do to avoid falling into the ‘expectation vs reality’ trap.
Be realistic about romance
When you first meet someone great it would be easy to think that the initial part of dating is very romantic and dates will be magical every single time. It’s probably not going to happen! You may be too tired, have had a bad week, low energy, or have other things going on that need attention. Life literally gets in the way.
You may have planned a romantic date with a picnic and a beautiful view – only to find it rains all day, or you may be looking forward to your next meeting but your date cancels for an unavoidable reason – illness or a family emergency.
Disappointment is a natural reaction, and of course, you need to ensure that the relationship is not just fizzling out, but if you are secure that you are both going in the same direction, then knowing that not every date is going to be filled with romance and perfection helps to balance this out.
Sometimes we pile too much pressure onto dates. Even now, six years down the line, I like to plan some dates and they never go how I want – we’ll be exhausted, put too much pressure on the occasion and sometimes the dates go in the opposite direction! Read More…