Addictive Toxicity: Why We Keep Getting Back to a Toxic Relationship
If it hasn’t happened to you, you have definitely seen it happen with someone around you or a close friend; getting caught up over and over in the same toxic relationship. Some relationships are crystal clear doomed to end, and more often than not, they end in the most emotionally damaging ways ever. We know why they didn’t work the first time, why they won’t work again, yet we keep going back, again and again, caught in a vicious cycle of breakups and makeups, and along the way, inflict more pain on our hearts.
It is worth digging deep to know why we keep going back to toxic relationships even though we have contemplated, many times before, all the reasons why we shouldn’t go back. Why, even though we can relate to the emotional turmoil and the pain of getting back, insist on repeating the same mistake over and over. Sometimes, we know the reasons deep down inside, but we choose to silence this voice in our head because, to us, those reasons are harsher for us to face than the pain of a toxic relationship.
Fear of ending up alone. Not everyone does well with being alone. Many among us haven't learned how to enjoy their own company. While there is no right or wrong to it, the fear of being alone or ending up growing old alone drives us to take wrong decisions when it comes to relationships. We’d rather be with someone who gives us a hard time, mistreats us, and cause us a lot of pain, than have to endure the fearful pain of being alone.
Seeking comfort and familiarity. We keep convincing ourselves that ‘better the devil you know’. We think we’ll feel safer and more comfortable dealing with the misery and unhappiness of a relationship with a partner we know rather than having to discover the unknown with a completely new and different partner. We think it is easier to accept what we have, though not what we deserve, than start over and risk being in yet another relationship that is not meant to succeed. Read More…