31 Things You Need to Know about Korean Dating Culture
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Loading... - Bulan Susilo
- 21 Jul 2022
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Dating a Korean is a fun, eye-opening and sometimes frustrating experience for westerners. The rules for Korean guys and girls are super different from what you’re used to. It helps to know how to play it cool and spot red flags in Korean dating culture.
This post will give you Korean and expat perspectives on dating dos and don’ts in Korea and abroad!
Where do you meet someone in Korea?
Like most things in South Korea, meeting someone can be either super easy or super hard.
It can happen naturally if you’re going to school or working at a company here, because you’ll get plenty of chances without even trying.
Korean universities or companies host tons of events like orientation, retreats, team building workshops and get-togethers where you can meet someone new and start a romantic relationship.
This is especially true if you live in Seoul or Busan, where you’ll run into five motivated and eager singles from your front door to the subway. People move from all over the country to the big city for job opportunities, and of course to meet a partner. It’s actually a serious problem because Seoul is overcrowded as heck.
Other places where you can meet someone are:
1. School
2. Hagwon or Club (ë™ì•„리)
3. Company
4. Through a friend: A.K.A. Sogaeting (소개팅)
5. Bar/Club/Pub: Probably not going to be a serious relationship. Also, be careful when you take free drinks from strangers at a bar!
6. Street: You can ask for someone’s phone number on the street in Korea. If you’re good looking or have game, you’ll be successful.
The types of blind dates in Korea include:
· Sogaeting (소개팅): A one-on-one blind date that’s arranged by a third party. It’s the most common type of blind date where you receive the contact info of the other person, communicate through KakaoTalk, and meet up. It’s safer since you both have a mutual acquaintance, but there’s still a low probability that you’ll hit it off. I’ve found that there’s often an imbalance in regards to looks or personality, since everyone thinks their friend is “cute” and/or “funny”. If you’re super shy, you can make it a double date with your matchmaker and their significant other.
· Meeting (미팅): A group blind date. It can be 3-on-3 up to 10-on-10. It’s as fun and chaotic as you imagine. They’re also interesting to watch since it’s a royal rumble, free-for-all complete with a long table of up to 10 guys facing 10 girls. In the old days, people would put their own items on a table and randomly pick one to match with a partner. You might see this retro culture in a K-drama or entertainment (variety) show.
· Matseon (ë§žì„ ): A blind date with the goal of finding a potential spouse. Matchmakers are usually their parents or someone else’s, including friends of your parents. There are even matchmaking companies like Duo that organize everything. People on these dates are mostly in their 30s, and go straight to serious conversation about stats relevant to marriage such as income, children, etc. Romance is optional.
An Expat’s Perspective
Not all Koreans want to date foreigners due to cultural differences and fear/prejudice. In my experience, probably only 10 percent are really into it.
Meet Koreans in places that have open-minded crowds. This includes art exhibitions, jazz concerts and salsa clubs.
For men, consider trying things that women traditionally do such as dance or musical instruments. Asking for a girl’s number on the street will automatically flag you as a player in their mind, unless there’s a reason to contact each other. A good friend of mine accidentally bumped into a girl on the subway and broke her phone in a scene straight out of a K-drama. They’re now happily married.
For women, think about gaming both board and other or sports clubs. Western women are considered exotic and liberal in Korea. You’ll have to feel out the situation if you’re looking for something serious.
Language exchange is always a safe choice to start testing the waters, because the people there are open-minded enough to want to improve their English skills. In the worst case, you can improve your Korean! Read More…
